I wonder why no one else can see
all the things that are beautiful to me
Like the twinkling stars in the night sky
or the pure tears in an infant's eye
A single flower in a patch of weeds
or the infinite love a mother feeds
Snowflakes on a winter's night
or how you hold loved ones tight
the fragrant perfume of blooming spring flowers
or the lights from a city of high towers
Love letters that are carefully hand written
or the look in the eyes of someone smitten
Taken for granted are these special things
when they should be treated like diamond rings
A luxury, though quite simple
like a baby's smiling dimple
Seeing them, your spirits lift
so treat them like a daily gift
A MISCONCEPTION OF PERFECTION
Maybe some day you will look past the obvious
and wake up to realize
that you are something more than you thought
Take a look down deeper;
eyes can be so misleading
view the world with you heart and mind
to find honest reality
Maybe you are not perfect
perfection is only a misconception anyway
if it were ever reached then life would be dull and meaningless
You are though, the best of what you are
and worthy of taking on the world
The no one you name yourself to be
is just a disguise
to hide yourself from the pain of being a failure
but taking the road trudged upon often
and never exploring new boundaries is the real failure
to never take a risk is not living at all
Find yourself and be who you are
Accept that person
and dont become a molded human in a fake society
a society tarnished by stereotypes and unrealistic expectations of perfection
those expectations can never be fulfilled
and in turn, failure will always arise
Love yourself, love others and be loved
that is the key to happiness
ADDICTION
What is it about you
that keeps me coming back
for another taste of your bitter hypocrisy
a concept just beyond minds grasp
an addiction for you consumes me
there are times when i know i should run
but insecurities bring down my barrier wall
and against conscious will i stay
knowing in the end i will only fall
like a virus that blindly plagues reality
you enforce all that eats away at my soul
your darkness holds me in place tightly
i have sacrificed everything i knowi'm caught in your trap
with nowhere to go
now illusions are all i have left
and on my last breath
because of my addiction for you
OUTSIDE IMAGE
how can you live with yourself
judging people
like you judge books on a shelf
by their covers
never giving people a chance
if they are not like you
you wont even give them a second glance
you could be missing out
some of the best books ever read
did not have beautiful covers
so do not be misled
just take the time to look inside
you might be surprised
to find a person to befriend or even love
when they are not disguised
by whats on the outside
SELF-DESTRUCTION
I have seen destruction
and looked directly into it's face
and the many directions
it comes to the human race
self-hate,
unhappiness with one's self
in mind, death becomes fate
as depression weighs down mental health
Jealousy,
an unsatisfied being
never enough money
and wanting the best of everything
dishonesty,
hiding behind a lie
and from the truth in reality
the fibs only multiply
Self-destruction lurks
waiting to attack
and consume life's true perks
until all fades to a defeating black
UNTIL YOU
I was on the verge of packing away my broken heart
and never again allowing a love to start
fears were deeply embedded
and a life of loneliness is where i was headed
hurting was all i ever knew
that is, until the day i found you
the moment i saw your smiling face
all broken pieces fell back into place
everything i once knew, crumbled to the floor
allowing me to feel things i never felt before
you aroused all my senses
with your warm sweetness
the sadness i once felt, was replaced with happiness
and all fears were laid to rest
you have opened my heart
allowing emotions to shine through
and with you, my feelings will always remain true
the chemistry between us
words alone can not explain
but love flows within the depths of my veins
if you look into my soul
you will see that you make me feel whole
and give me something to look forward to
something i thought was lost
until i found you
TIRED OF EVERYTHING
i'm tired of being alone
and tired of running away
i'm tired of being hurt
and tired of love fading away
i'm tired of broken promises
and tired of this empty feeling
i'm tired of being cold
and tired of searching for something healing
i'm tired of all the lies
and tired of playing games
i'm tired of feeling lost
and tired of the labeled names
i'm tired of fighting
and tired of the violence
i'm tired of being ignored
and tired of tension filled silence
CLAUSTROPHOBIC
It's so hard to breath at times
claustrophobic it feels sometimes
like my world is caving in
uncomfortable in my own skin
i never thought that you would leave
but change has brought a new reality
lost, cant find what i'm searching for
i don't know what i want anymore
somewhere I've lost the nerve inside
to live without trying to hide
looking back at the way things used to be
and everything i used to believe
there is this feeling inside
that is just not quite right
i just can't open up
without first giving up
it's so hard for me to see
everything that could be
without comparing it to what i had
nostalgic i get mad
life is complicated
i just want to be sedated
i cant get rid of this sick feeling
it keeps me from sleeping
i want to fall away
and find a place that is safe
from all that troubles me
a place where i can breathe
INTOXICATION
I see myself
spinning out of control
but i cant seem to stop
the problem consumes me
a cancer i can't control
i lose myself to the feeling i get
when i ingest
the foreign chemicals
it numbs the pain
i cant feel a thing
addicted to the coldness
my heart has become
frozen in solitude
i cant face another day
living my life this way
i'm a shadow in society
i don't care what happens to me
take me away
take everything
it just hurts to much to care
ill drown my sorrows away
for just this one last time
FORCED
i can see the burning desire in your eyes
and tremors of fear begin to travel throughout my skin
frozen in place, im too scared to move
you have put me in an uncomfortable position
your palms made of acid
every touch leaves smoldering burns
that will scar deep within memory
i try to scream
and struggle for freedom
but my cries remain silent
muffled by your pressing hand
pinned to the cold surface
you force yourself upon me
i close my eyes
and try blocking reality from mind frame
my body is trembling
and hope is dwindling
i want to die and take you with me
so that you can not rip apart another life
i will stay strong and make it through
and you will ultimately pay
for the unforgivable crime you have committed
STRONGER THAN YOU KNOW
i wont let you control me
i'm tired of the games you play
anger keeps building inside me
this time i'll walk away
I wont let you push me around
your time is fading fast
you can't bring me down
i see right through your mask
you thought you could take my life from me
but i'm stronger than you know
you thought you could take my sanity
but i'm stronger than you know
you thought you could manipulate me
but i'm stronger than you know
i wont listen to your lies
you don't mean anything to me
it was all a waste of time
you cant get inside me
i wont be your human clay
you cant mold me
you are a miserable fake
lost in my reality
you thought you could take my life from me
but i'm stronger than you know
you thought you could take my sanity
but i'm stronger than you know
you thought you could manipulate me
but i'm stronger than you know
SOMEDAY, SOME HOW
alone in the darkness again
i think of you and wish you were here
by my side tonight
you captivate and steal my heart away
i think about the way you laugh
and imagine what it would be like
just to kiss your lips
or embrace in the comfort of your arms
someday, some how
i just want to be with you
someday, some how
i'd do anything for you
someday, some how
please tell me we'll make it through
you are the start the guides me home
and the sun that warms my heart clear through
i just want to be with you
you are the smile that lives in my soul
and the breath of air that gives me life
i just want to be with you
FADE AWAY
I feel so alone again
and no one really understands who i am
i try to hide the truth within
painting a mask built from pain and fear again
it's so hard to fall asleep at night
and i'm losing my will to fight
lonely, i lay tossing in my bed
remembering all the hurtful things you said
you take me to this place inside
where hate and love collide
hate made of love lost to lies
truth was the ultimate sacrifice
they say that time heals all pain
but day after day i feel the same
i'm locked behind this door
traveling down the road I've gone before
I've lost my way once again
and destruction is my daily sin
these walls are crumbling down
and the voices in my head are screaming now
I want to make you feel the same inside
because i'm broken and dying inside
i just ant to fade away
into the darkness that ends the day
i'm wasting away in this fear
i just pray that an end is near
BROKEN PROMISES
lies and broken promises
you said you would
but you didn't
you told me you'd love me forever
but you lied
you told me i was the only one
but i wasn't
you told me you'd never hurt me
but you did
you told me you'd be there for me
but you weren't
you told me i could count on you
but i couldn't
you told me so many things
but they were all
lies and broken promises
DISEASED
I'm not who you think i am
there's more than meets the eye
just give me a chance
i know that i'm not beautiful
and may not be the smartest woman in the world
i don't even know what i have to offer
other than my love
but still i hope that someday
someone will see in me
something worth their time and affection
i am lonely and miserable
i pretend to be happy
when i'm really dying inside
insecurity is my disease
and i'm waiting for a cure
every time i believe i'm in remission
and have found a way to a happy being
another plague strikes
a round of hurtful memories
infest my emotional stature
and i crumble to pieces
living becomes the pits of hell
and the road to recovery is long and exhausting
each time building a stronger protective wall
to guard myself from the pain
but at the same time
losing myself an blocking everyone out
i want to let someone in
but i have forgotten how
fears take control as i put on disguise
and become someone else
i push people away
alienating myself even more than i already have
its a vicious cycle
God, will it ever end?
my heart is growing colder
and i want to recover
please find the key,
open the door and take me in
NO ONE KNEW
No one knew the pain she felt
no one seemed to understand
i wish i could have helped
or given a loving hand
to her nothing mattered
but the misery she was in
her dreams shattered
a broken heart deep within
ashamed of herself
she thought she was alone
she blamed herself
an imposing stone
that wouldn't quit pounding inside
thrashing sane thinking
she slowly lost her mind
all hope was sinking
into a deeper void
she though the only answer was death
growing like tissue on steroids
until she took her final breath
SO FAR AWAY
so far away, i think about the one
distance between us, my heart comes undone
alone, i lay in bed wishing upon the stars
wondering imagining just where you are
i get caught up in day dreams, lost in your warm embrace
just the pure sound of your voice, brings a smile to my face
if things were different, where would we be?
do you ever think about us? or is it just me?
I always look forward to conversations we hold
silly or sincere, one secret can be told
you are someone special who makes me happy
and i wish that you could be here next to me
circumstances are what keep us apart
but there will always be a place for you in my heart
GIVEN
you have given my soul wings
and i have learned to soar
everything that your love brings
leaves me wanting more
i cant help this feeling inside
buried deep inside
through all of my healing
you have been by my side
i love you more and more
every day that passes by
my heart drops to the floor
every time we say goodbye
though it's never for very long
it feels like eternity
but my heart keeps beating on
until the next time you are with me
every time we touch
feels just like the first time
you have given me so much
and i'm glad that you are mine
our love is deeper than an ocean
mind, body, and soul
you are my emotional lotion
soothing clear through my soul
you have give my heart strength
allowing it to beat
no matter the length
as long as you are with me
all life's troubles, i can beat
CALL IT QUITS
fate has brought us to this unfortunate fork in the road
one where we must choose to live alone
or die together
love has faded and torn us apart
every fight grasps on to one last breath
strength is dwindling
and emotions are screaming
hate becomes the new desire
the fire blazing within eachothers eyes
brings the satisfaction
that illusionary love failed to stimulate
human poison
we both slip away
death is certain and its time to call it quits
THE CRITIC
I am fighting to break free
from the stinging criticism
that pierces my heart like daggers
Each relentless round in battle
pushes me further from you
all that i do, is never enough
and every decicion i make is wrong
Im tired of feeling guilty
for the simple pleasures i have found
in pure happiness
I am caught in the middle
please set me free
I am going to break these locks
that confine my misery
and leave you behind
and all that is holding me back
LOST SOUL
Entranced by your eyes
captivated by disguise
take a hold of my soul
mold it and make it your own
i cant seem to get away
from the hurtful games you play
shards of hatred and bleeding hope
Life is nothing but a nightmare zone
There is numbness in my heart
go ahead, rip it apart!
do what you will, you wretched beast
I will never find inner peace
My vulnerability makes it easy
to overthrow my senses and use me
AFRAID
afraid,
of opening my heart
afraid,
of saying i love you
afraid,
of another broken heart
afraid,
of getting close to you
afraid,
you'll judge me
afraid,
of commitment
afraid,
you'll only use me
afraid,
of abandonment
afraid,
of being alone
afraid,
of being hurt again
afraid,
of the future unknown
afraid,
of what could happen
afraid,
of breaking apart
afraid,
of opening my heart
THE MIRROR
I look in the mirror
what do i see?
a reflection,
but it's not me
I see a strength
high self esteem
and a sense of direction,
but it's not me
it's not who i am
but who i'd like to be
everything i could want
but it's not me
I have my own strong points,
creativity,
a kind heart
thats me
compassion
a gift for comedy
a way with words
thats me
so when you look in the mirror
what do you see?
is it who you want to be?
or can you say, "thats me!"
CLOSED TO THE WORLD
My eyes remain closed
to all that i do not want to see
blinded by choice
hoping this will protect me
in a battle against temptations
denial is bliss
living in a suicidal reality
my conscience i quickly dismiss
corruption lies in a burried capsule
waiting for tragedy to unfold
dead to the world
my heart has become ice cold
i can not feel
i am emotionless to all that surrounds me
obscurity is my euphoria
ironically it is that which kills me
BONDED AS ONE
our bodily masses embrace
molded together as one
a complete structure of love
sharing in a distinct moment of passion
explosive emotions
fused together with magnetic touch
intense feelings
expressed, not by word of mouth
but by means of electricity
sparked through tantric eye contact
and flaming desire
burning through the laces of my heart
causing my love to unravel
from its knotted past
and becoming intertwined with yours
forming a marvelous blanket of mutual devotion
impermeable to all insecurities
allowing complete concentration
and bonding of true love
SOUL FOOD
your words are like fertlizer to my soul
nurturing buds deep within
and stimulating blooming emotions
causing my heart and mind to grow
with each passing day
my stems extend with openess
reaching out into the world
eager to take in all nutrients life has to offer
you provide me with an insightful sipping straw
allowing me to consume
knowlegeable vitamins
expanding my root system
and keeping me grounded with stability
